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Bots I've met on the Fediverse

2025-02-27

Wandering around in the Fediverse, every once in a while I run into a bot. It might be weird or ordinary, boring or exciting, interesting or completely absurd. Here, I want to share those I'm always excited to see again, and thus think they are worth sharing.

I Hope This Email Finds You

First bot on this list is also my favorite. I'll let it introduce itself:

Posts (...) completions to the sentence "I hope this email finds you." All content is sourced from Google Books, based on searches for phrases that start with "finds you."

Pretty simple, right?

A screenshot of post by "I Hope This Email Finds You" (@thisemailfindsyou@mastodon.social) with the text "I hope this email finds you unprepared while cross-country skiing." Every time I'm writing an e-mail, I have the urge to use one of this bot's creations.

I find it incredible how amusing a bot posting literal nonsense can be, especially in an AI age where an LLM can spit out hundreds of sentences like this in a few seconds. That wouldn't be so funny though, would it?

Click to show Mastodon feed

Most recent posts of @thisemailfindsyou@mastodon.social:

How to do anything

This bot is similar to the previous one in its dadaist nature. It mixes up random wikiHow article headings and illustrations.

A screenshot of post by "how to do anything" (@wikihow@mastodon.social) with the text "How to Choose the Right Man to Marry" and an image of a bird feeder. There's a mark saying that it's 1.5m (5 ft) above the ground.

Whether you try to find sense it its cryptic advice, or just go for a laugh, I'm sure it will be glad to see someone listening to what it has to say.

Click to show Mastodon feed

Most recent posts of @wikihow@mastodon.social:

As the Film Ends

Have you ever opened a random book from your grandma's bookshelf and read the last page, or last sentence of it? There's something exciting about it, even when you have no idea about the context. Maybe because of it.

If you did, you and this bot are gonna love each other!

A screenshot of post by "As the Film Ends" (@endingsummary@mastodon.social) with the text "El Mariachi then gives his share of the cash to his home village before walking into the sunset."

Its father explains its inner workings well:

Most Wikipedia pages for a given film provide at least a brief plot synopsis. Using the sum total of all film pages on Wikipedia as a corpus, this bot picks a random film and posts the final sentence from its plot summary. Spoilers are definitely possible, but given the depth of the corpus it'll usually be a film you've never heard of.

Click to show Mastodon feed

Most recent posts of @endingsummary@mastodon.social:

transect575

A screenshot of post by transect575 with a three line haiku "missing lower half (newline) may be humpback whale , breaching (newline) update conditions"

transect575 is another bot whose introduction I'll leave to its creator:

When I worked for REDACTED GOVERNMENT AGENCY I saw a lot of aerial survey data from people looking for whales in the sea. Usually this includes useful information like the number of animals, whether they are juvenile or adult and weather conditions. They also usually included a comment field. So I scraped that out and this bot makes haikus from it.

Its home is a GoToSocial instance, so I can't embed its posts here as easily as those of bots living on Mastodon.

Click here to view transect575's haikus

You Can't Spell

A screenshot of post by "You Can't Spell" (@cantspell@mastodon.social) with the text "You can't spell artificial intelligence without lie certificating"

This bot is only six days old when I'm writing this, but it already managed to say smarter things than lot of adults I know have ever said. Did you know that you can't spell warm-hearted without meth award?

Click to show Mastodon feed

Most recent posts of @cantspell@mastodon.social:

Shakespearean Insult Bot

A screenshot of post by "Shakespearean Insult Bot" (@shakespearean_Insults@beige.party) with the text "You degenerate, fat-kidneyed, onion-eyed, scut!"

Nothing much to say about the Shakespearean Insult Bot, who walks around the Fediverse and insults whoever crosses its path. Its unloved (those not starred/boosted/commented) insults are deleted after two weeks, which is a pretty clever feature that the How to do anything bot could borrow.

Click to show Mastodon feed

Most recent posts of @shakespearean_Insults@beige.party:

SimCity2000 Traffic Helicopter

A screenshot of post by "SimCity2000 Traffic Helicopter" (@sc2000@mastodon.social) with an image of a Sim City 2000 city and the text "1.5 MIL! June 24, 3963"

Last bot on this list is a bit different than the rest. It's not funny nor nonsensical, but deserves its place more than any other.

Another project of @jplebreton@mastodon.social, creator of the As the Film Ends bot, SimCity2000 Traffic Helicopter flies above user-created cities and posts a random glimpse of a cityscape.

Beautiful!

Click to show Mastodon feed

Most recent posts of @sc2000@mastodon.social: